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Foreshadowing, the Obvious Way: The Awakening Part 2

December 10, 2008

When last we left everyone, we were still trying to figure out what was going on.  It will be a long wait.

PAGE 37, because I could not go on earlier: ~*Elena*~ has to break up with Matt.  I can’t believe I never noticed this before, but Smith is already giving us reasons that ~*Elena*~ shouldn’t be with this paragon of cuteness and doormat: he’s poor.  Poorish, I suppose, but that’s enough of a reason in ~*Elena*~land (and Smithland) to not be with someone, because the paint on his house is peeling.  Poor schmuck never stood a chance.

Blah blah blah, Matt is so AMERICAN.  A paragraph of how cute and American he is, including mentions of blond hair, blue eyes, football, and farms.  And, of course, the expression “all-American.”  We wouldn’t have known without that.  Well, unless there was a mention of apple pie.  And a bald eagle.  And being Republican.

Matt asks ~*Elena*~ about France.  Her response is to use the word “great” over and over again.  It’s to show how awkward they are, yeah, but it just emphasizes my earlier point that Smith has never been there herself.  There’s another mention of Matt’s poverty–SERIOUSLY, HOW DID I MISS THIS THE FIRST HUNDRED TIMES, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY THE FIRST TIME I REREAD THIS A COUPLE MONTHS AGO???  Matt is poor.  Matt is POOR!  POOR MATT!

But see, Matt is a good guy.  We know this because he gives ~*Elena*~ an opening to break up with him, insists he’ll be her friend, and–in probably the only realistic moment in the entire book–refuses to deny that he has feelings for her, even as she’s all “You’re my FRIEND, right?  Just my FRIEND and now that you think about it, it’s just been FRIENDSHIP all this time, hasn’t it?”  Matt is half-doormat, half-bs detector.  He immediately calls ~*Elena*~ out on the Stefan thing, but then offers to buy her a donut.  Come on, Matt.  Be a man.  Take a couple of weeks to hate her.  It’s only healthy.  Sars suggests it to, like, everyone.

That pervert of a crow is still there, too.

At school, we are introduced to Dick Carter and Tyler Smallwood.  (Well, at least their last names aren’t swapped out; poor Dick.)  “They thought being tackle and safety on the varsity football team made them hot stuff.”  And that’s…pretty much all you need to know about them for now.  In general and in terms of the action, because Smith drops them like the tools of foreshadowing that they are and moves on to ~*Elena*~ trying to use her compact to notice Stefan when he comes in the room.  Except she doesn’t, because he’s a vampire, and casts no reflection.  God, everything in this story is so NECESSARY, have you noticed that?

Dick and Tyler get up in Stefan’s face and mock his accent, being the good Neanderthal jocks that every teen book needs.  Matt saves him, because Matt is a sucker for punishment, and invites Stefan to be on the football team.  ~*Elena*~ finds herself JEALOUS of their sudden man-love.  “There was a warmth between the toy boys that shut her out completely.”  Aww, honey, give yourself some credit: Stefan shut you out way before he revealed himself to be gay for Matt.

Anyway, Stefan turns down Matt’s offer to be his, uh, receiver, and ~*Elena*~’s brilliant plan is about to be hatched: she’s going to accost him and present herself as his tour guide.  I feel like I’ve recapped this already.  But to be extra manipulative, she’s going to make it sound like she’ll get in trouble if he doesn’t let her.  So sweet.  She wants to play on his need to rescue maidens–it SAYS THIS.  How…did she know about that?  What am I forgetting here?

Of COURSE, he turns to Matt and says “Oh yeah, about that football, LET’S GO,” leaving ~*Elena*~ a miserable failure in front of Evil Caroline.  She’s so embarrassed she runs from the room.  As my heart bleeds for her–not really–we come to the end of chapter three.


OMG, you guys, she’s going to cry.  Then I’M going to cry and–whatever.  Get over yourself, ~*Elena*~.  Also, this: “For the second day in a row, she was coming home from school right after the last bell, and alone.  Aunt Judith wouldn’t be able to cope.”  I have no idea what this means, and we’re not really told either.  I mean, if I were Aunt Judith, I’d have less of a time coping if ~*Elena*~ brought home her usual bunch of friends, right?  So, uh…what?

Now we get the next important vampire part of the book: ~*Elena*~’s house one burned down, and her room is part of the original structure.  Remember this; it’s important later.  I guess.

Then there’s a bunch of whining.  ~*Elena*~ is reviewing her feelings and coming to the conclusion that Stefan makes her feel the way she’s been making boys feel since puberty.  So I guess she’s getting hers, huh, guys?  “And there hadn’t been butterflies in her stomach–there had been bats.”  Downright spooky, I say.  Blah blah blah, Stefan’s so hot, his accent OMG, “strangely compelling,” etc.  We are heading into Cullen territory, but fortunately Smith spares us most of this.  Before ~*Elena*~’s hand can wander downward, her aunt gets home with her little sister.  ~*Elena*~, terribly disappointed that her emo sulk has been ruined, decides to leave the house before anyone realizes she’s there.  What a great sister.  Has she interacted with Margaret once in this whole book?  And four-year-olds are the BEST, they haven’t been spoiled by public school yet.

~*Elena*~ goes to visit her parents’ graves in the cemetary, and we get the back story of ~*Elena*~’s dead parents: car crash, three-ish, four-ish years ago, very sad.  She refers to them as “Mother” and “Father.”  Uh…yeah, right.  A teeny tiny bit of Aunt Judith love, and I guess the first mention of Aunt Judith’s little-used fiance, Robert.  He might show up again in this book?  Bonnie and Meredith come out to find her, as they did years ago when ~*Elena*~’s parents died, and she doesn’t push them away like she does her blood relatives.  They’re cooler, you know, especially Meredith and her “elegant eyebrow.”

Bonnie seems to take Stefan’s snub almost as badly as ~*Elena*~, but everyone tells her to shut up in their own way.  Then she babbles about the mean teacher Tanner and her report on the “Droo-ids,” which made me pronounce it this way for years to come, if only in my head.  (It also messed with my pronounciation of “The Droids,” the Sweet Valley High “rock” band.)  Bonnie, like many girls in the late ’80s and early ’90s, is getting into her ancestry, which includes all-new psychic powers, which she used to locate ~*Elena*~ at the cemetary.  Nevermind that Elena has a longstanding habit of coming out to visit her parents, it was all Bonnie and her Droo-ids.  Her grandmother appears to be the one stoking this paganism, telling Bonnie that she’s going to die early and ISN’T IT ROMANTIC?  Even ~*Elena*~ knows better than that.

Remember, folks, that every WORD of this book is totally necessary.  (Unlike a certain other vampire series that’s a couple hundred pages too long.)  Bonnie then talks about a ritual for learning who you’re going to marry and says she wants to marry a rich and gorgeous guy.  ~*Elena*~ jokingly suggests Tyler Smallwood, because his daddy’s rich and his momma’s good-lookin’.  Meredith–KEEP IT IN MIND, GUYS–says that “he’s not bad-looking […] if you’re an animal lover.  All those big white teeth.”


~*Elena*~ declares that she will be doing her report on the Italian Renaissance.  I’m not really sure how this is the harsh burn that Bonnie and Meredith seem to think it is.  I think it just makes her look kinda desperate.  Whatever.  I always remember this part because Meredith says, “So the tiger returneth” and “Elena gave her a feral grin.”  Having been raising feral kitties, I know now that they can be filthy, filthy creatures.  So I am even more amused than I was before.

She makes her friends promise to help her get Stefan, and they seal the deal with blood, because you do that when you’re a teenager.  (Also, make up your mind, ~*Elena*~.)  The promise is to keep the secret (of ~*Elena*~’s interest in Stefan, I guess, not that everyone doesn’t already know) and “to do whatever Elena asks in relation to Stefan.”  Bonnie’s Celtic mojo tells her that swearing in blood is dangerous, but she goes along with it.  ~*Elena*~ swears “not to rest until he belongs to me.”  *sigh*  I guess he doesn’t get a choice here, does he, ~*Elena*~?  Talk about entitled.  Good thing he’s secretly pining for you, or this would be the best stalker book ever.

It gets dark and cold quickly, and the girls wants to cross through the older version of the cemetary to make their trip home shorter, but it’s creeping them out.  Bonnie then goes into a trance and says in a voice not her own, ” Elena, there’s someone waiting out there for you.”

OMG OMG OM–whatever.

The girls are freaked out by the shadows and start bolting.  ~*Elena*~, being one of the majority of Fell’s Church residents to know stuff without, like, knowing WHY she knows stuff, tells the girls they have to cross the bridge.  RUNNING WATER!  They must’ve read all the same Time Life Mystery books I did as a kid.  Then suddenly they feel safe but head home quickly, uneasily.


And that’s the end of Chapter Four.  Next up: I forget, but I’m sure it’s very deep and ~*Elena*~ gets what she wants.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. lisslalissar permalink
    December 10, 2008 3:37 pm


  2. bookslide permalink*
    December 10, 2008 4:41 pm

    I live to please. 😀

  3. June 1, 2009 9:56 pm

    You’re all kinds of awesome. I’m glad I found this on Devil’s Playground. Dude, I’m literally laughing my ass off. My mom keeps staring at me like wtf?

    • bookslide permalink*
      June 2, 2009 5:07 am

      Why thank you.

      Sorry to hear about your ass though. Unless you didn’t want it in the first place; then I’m an even better person than my massive ego originally thought.

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