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I’m not calling anyone out.

May 13, 2009


Did you know I’m a slut?  Glad someone bothered to tell me.

I think we call Jessica a slut on there all the time, and that’s one thing.  Jessica 1) is fictional, 2) is extremely manipulative in her relationships (boys and otherwise), and 3) probably keeps her V-card till college despite all the random dating, so it’s rather facetious.

Having either not read the book or don’t remember reading the book (I read about the characters later for sure, though, as I say in my comment), I have no idea what these characters mean by “date.”  Even if they’re collecting kisses—which is as far as ’80s books went, generally—I’m still not seeing where the word “slut” should come into it at all.

We take dating for granted but women haven’t had the “right” to date since the dawn of time.  Choosing a partner?  Ha!  I know I’m very pro-Stephanie Coontz right now and I’m itching for the semester to end so I can read her books, but when she discussed marriage in context at the conference she brought up a couple of points about dating and the freedom it entails, freedom we absolutely take for granted; freedom we rarely exercise too.  How often have you or someone you know said “I never date.  I always seem to jump right into relationships”?  I know I have.  But dating gives us the opportunity to get to know someone, to make an informed choice, rather than a hormonal one.  Well, hormones can be involved too, but at least you have that one thing, that ONLY thing, that creates the possibility of understanding someone: time.

So I’m a little peeved.

Also a slut.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. May 13, 2009 12:45 pm

    Yes, good point. I tend not to edit the comments. If you have a burning curiosity about the plot, the bet was to go out on “dates” with at least 10 boys, which was to go to the hamburger joint or what not.

    I did read this one secretly hoping that it was some sort of soft-core whatever, but who was I fooling?

    I’d encourage you to post your thoughts on this back over on the original post, but only if you want to. I do write a blog about stupid, trivial plots of books, but I think good conversations like these can come out of it.

    • bookslide permalink*
      May 13, 2009 3:00 pm

      If I remember correctly, Jill is pretty darn repressed, so I can’t imagine anything with a Jill/Toni combo becoming anything more than “Toni did something shocking!”–if, you know, shocking is…flirting with two boys at once. Which I think is the whole plot of _The Trouble with Toni_.

      I didn’t want the OC to think I was attacking her personally. I know you draw casual nostalgic readers and never casual a moment in their lives nostalgic readers who are feminists prone to wanting to show off the mad analysis skillz that come from earning a BA in Lit** alike, so I was hesitant to start that convo on someone else’s blog. But if you’re okay with it, then I am too, and I will try to be as non-confrontational as I can.

      **where, one, that’s me; and two, what else can ya do with it, really?

  2. Malika permalink
    May 14, 2009 2:47 am

    Just to make thing clear

    The wanton hussy comment on DB’s blog was meant ironically. I’m sorry if that did not come across. Girls should feel free to date whoever they want, whenever they want without having to feel that everyone is keeping a list of their dating behaviour. Until society manages to eradicate double standards about this issue, we are nowhere near equality. In fact, one of the great freedoms i felt about moving away from the small town i lived in was the end of everyone looking over my shoulder and feeling irritated about the multiple double standards ( popular girls could date the whole male population of high school and no-one said a word, less popular girls were Slutty Slutinsky if they were 17 and onto their third boyfriend. Whatevs) Exercising discretion before jumping into a relationship is a GOOD thing.

    Anyway, serious bit over. Back to snarking about Cover Girl’s matching jumper and notepad.

    • bookslide permalink*
      May 14, 2009 6:51 am

      I didn’t read your comment that way at all. It was Vanessa’s comment that set me off. I completely agree with you. (And my small-town ish, among other things, was that my family was getting superjudged by my daughter’s “best friend”‘s family for not going to church. Wait, what? I can’t have a different religion? No, see, that means “Our children have different morals.” Direct quote there, by the way. Sigh.)

  3. Malika permalink
    May 18, 2009 2:12 am

    Ah the joys of living in a small town. Hipocrites galore, what is not to like? : )

  4. May 18, 2009 5:43 am

    Hypocrites.. Geez, i need a cup of coffee.

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