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Zoey Fools Around Part 3

November 1, 2009

Editor’s note: Starting NaBlo with a guest post seems like a cop-out, but this recap was long overdue! And this isn’t a rag on Sarah. Her copy of the book was missing for quite a while. In case you were wondering about the Mystery of the Lost Book, well…the culprit was none other than Sarah’s daughter!

lostbook1

lostbook

You have to admit, that’s DAMN clever.  But on to the recap!

Zoey opens the door and instead of Nina’s smiling face, she gets….Claire and Joke. Claire and Joke want to talk to Zoey and go about it in a rather condescending and off-putting manner. Claire invites Zoey to sit on her own couch and Joke pats the cushion next to him, offering her a place ON HER OWN COUCH. I had someone do that to me. It’s rude and invasive and made me want to scratch somebody’s eyes out. Luckily for Claire, Zoey is oodles more polite than I am. Claire and Joke basically get Zoey to ‘fess up that she talked to Lucas. (Note that she doesn’t mention the sticky-sweet creamy interlude of LURVVVVVVE. [Ed note: Dirty!]) “Damn it!” is Joke’s eloquent reply. He and Claire exchange meaningful looks and poor Zoey is feeling plotted against and ARGH! I feel the need to rant:

Okay, I understand a bit of Jake’s animosity towards Lucas, really I do BUT it’s not as if Lucas knocked Wade unconscious, locked him in the car trunk, and set the car on fire. He drove drunk. It was a mistake which he did the time for. The book never gets into Fred and Daisy’s feelings toward Lucas, but I’m pretty sure they aren’t telling grown men and women to shun him.

Jake furthers his expedition into Asshatsylvania by claiming that it’s just like Lucas shot Wade and in this analogy the shooter could be sorry, but Wade would still be dead and how he hasn’t paid for his crime and….OH, STFU! JOKE, I HATE YOU AND YOUR STUPID ANALOGIES. If Lucas hadn’t done time in YA then Joke might have a point, but seriously? WHAT DOES HE EXPECT? Is Lucas supposed to be put in front of a firing squad? Ugh, I wish I could summon Joke into corporeal form and punch him in the nose. It’s completely possible that I may be over-reacting as I have never lost a sibling, but his behavior is…irksome.

Zoey is shocked at all this vitriol and explains that she wasn’t that connected to Wade and Joke tells her that if she loves him, she’ll shun Lucas. Joke offers Claire a ride and she demurs, taking the opportunity to make snide innuendo about Zoey and Lucas being next door neighbors. Zoey tells Clair the message Lucas gave her about keeping promises and Claire looks worried for a second, then leaves.

Zoey makes a list and waffles (get it? HAHA!) more about her friends turning against her and Lucas being OMGZ!SO DREAMY!!! and decides that she needs to get out of her house.

Zoey runs into her family on the ferry and starts chatting up Benjamin. They chat about Lucas coming over and how Joke and Claire dog-piled her. [Ed. note: SO DIRTY.] Benjamin points out the weirdness of Claire becoming so involved. Benjamin tells her a story about when they were kids and whale-watching and how you knew the whales were coming up because you could see them under the surface of the water. Then they start talking about the accident and how one would think that the people in the front of a VW Bug would be the most harmed. Zoey is kind of confused as to why Benjamin has never mentioned this theory to Claire. Benjamin explains that telling Zoey is as good as telling Claire because Zoey always talks to Nina. Uh, the thing that would be as good as telling Claire would be, you know, TELLING CLAIRE.

Hand-written: Claire. Claire is a Daddy’s Girl. When Claire and Nina’s mom died of breast cancer, Nina was sent to their aunt and uncle because she was close to her mother and her father felt she needed a change of scenery. After the accident that killed Wade, her father didn’t leave her bedside. She had trouble remember exactly what happened until Lucas confessed.

Geiger Abode – Burke, Claire, and Nina are planning on cooking lobsters. Unfortunately, there are no lobsters to be found at the grocery store, so Burke decides to go see Roy Cabral as he owns half of Roy’s boat. They get their lobsters and Nina brings up Benjamin’s Volkswagen theory. Burke asks Roy for more lobsters and decides to invite Benjamin to dinner.

Benjamin comes over to dinner and Mr. Geiger offers to help pay for his college. Naturally, Benjamin is surprised and Mr. Geiger tries to brush off his new found philanthropy and then ruins it by talking about how he values loyalty and honor and somehow manages to come off as he has just walked off the set of “The Godfather” or something.

HOPES:

Zoey hopes for good grades and nobody to con her into running for student council and suffer the humiliation of losing to Beavis. (Although, she did beat Butt-head by two whole votes!)

Claire hopes that teachers do not assign so much homework, for some annoying guy to get a sex-change operation so he’ll stop asking her out (Um, I’m pretty sure that’s not how they work, dear), for people to stop asking what’s the deal with Nina’s weirdness, and to murder whoever wrote her number in the boys’ bathroom.

Aisha hopes for better padding on desks and that the cafeteria will stop serving green beans “that will make you want to cry.”

Nina is “blowing chunks of hope” that school won’t be usual “dark, mind-numbing, spirit-destroying hell” it was last year.

Next up. School starts! Jake still doesn’t grasp that tricky “turn the other cheek” thing, and asks Zoey to choose sides again…and she does!

Only not really.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. November 2, 2009 8:25 am

    You know, I never realized what an exceedingly filth mind I have=p

    • bookslide permalink*
      November 2, 2009 9:21 am

      It’s one of the reasons we love you, dear.

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