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The Vampire Diaries: The Fury, Part 6: That’s a choice??

March 24, 2010

When last we left Our Heroine, she was being asked to choose between the Brothers Salvatore, even though I don’t think that going all Dear Sister after a car crash counts as REALLY being into Damon.

Stefan is desperately hoping it’s him, oh please let him be crowned Homecoming King ~*Elena’s boyfriend*~.  But ~*Elena*~ does no such reasonable thing.  In hopes of making sure that they have Damon with them, not against them, she says she wants them “to stay together.”  WHATEVER THAT MEANS.  Stefan is like “BWUH?” and Damon’s like “FANTASTIC.”  I’ve gone back and forth with deciding why Damon is both being a jerk (“Brothers should share things,” if you know what he means) and embracing this ridiculous idea, and I’ve decided it’s a recipe:

1 part plot device

1 part showing everyone how different ~*Elena*~ is from Katherine (it’s not working for me)

1 part broyay

1 part stupidity

Mix just enough to cause “conflict” and simmer.  And simmer.  And simmer.

Stefan is on Team Me for once, because he’s not getting it.  He points out that Damon doesn’t even LIKE Fell’s Church.  Screw you, Stefan Salvatore.  You’re like 400 years old; you really get that attached to tiny American towns in a few months?  NO.  You want a pretty blonde girlfriend, and she wants a supernatural-free-but-for-her-boyfriend town.  So you “care.”

It’s not like he was in the Founders’ Day parade.

~*Elena*~ is being Diplomat of the Year, telling her boyfriend that his rival brother is being more cooperative than him.  Smooth move, Ex Lax.  She points out the Circle of Need, which is like the Circle of Life for teenagers: she needs Stefan to validate and possibly overwrite her existence, and they need Damon to create conflict till the Big Bad is revealed.  ~*Elena*~ points out one of Damon’s good points–he didn’t let ~*Elena*~ kill Stefan (I guess she’s saving “and he didn’t rape me!” for a later time)–and Stefan decides the best thing to do here is sulk and whine about how he’s JUST as bad as his evil, evil brother because they’re both pathetic sinners.

~*Elena*~ rolls her eyes.  Okay, she doesn’t, but SHE SHOULD.  She actually worries about him, makes a mental note to bring this self-loathing thing up later, and asks him what he’s thinking.  He says what WE’VE ALL KNOWN FOR A LONG TIME:

“Right now I’m thinking that you always get your way.  Because you always do, don’t you, Elena?”

But ~*Elena*~ has convinced herself that this isn’t about her for once, it’s for the plot the Greater Good, and he’ll see in the long run that she was right, right, right.  The three vamps agree to a truce/team-up and Damon’s still being a douche, but whatever.  It’s his nature.

(AND THEN BUFFY STAKED DAMON.  THE END.)

Damon is so unnecessary, but Smith sure loves her characters that SEEM bad, but aren’t really BAD so much as, like, flawed, well not flawed cuz they’re so pretty but, like, COMPLICATED.  See, evil is evil, but bad is like good, if there’s a pretty girl involved to change that person’s mind.  (See also: Faye–reformed by Cassie–in The Secret Circle.)

~*Elena*~ suddenly remembers the previous chapter and brings up Bonnie’s prediction/comment/thing.  “No one is what they seem.”  Starting with, she decides, Alaric.  She charges the guys with spying on him, and then they’re interrupted by Mr. Carson looking for Stefan.  She tells him to go down there and act like people haven’t been calling him a murderer for ages.  (~*Elena*~’s body is missing but all is forgiven??)  Stefan doesn’t wanna leave ~*Elena*~ with Damon, you know, after leaving ~*Elena*~ with Damon before.  Whiny brat.  Damon reminds her that she’s a vampire by mentioning her appetite, which is sated for now.  Stefan and Damon take off, but Stefan tells her psychically that he’s going to come for her later.  Dirty.  (I wish, in sort of a not-really way; this book would at least have SOME teenage realism then.)  ~*Elena*~ realizes that his mental voice is weak and therefore HE is weak, but why?

Maybe cuz he doesn’t have a nice blonde buffet to munch on anymore?

~*Elena*~ waits till dark and leaves the church.  There’s a paragraph on her heightened senses again, but we can skip that.  She heads for Meredith’s; the day’s events have freaked people so the street are pretty clear.  Not that there aren’t, like, 42 people in the town anyway.  There’s no Meredith waiting for her, so she Spideys her way up the house, where she looks through a window to see Meredith…waiting.

She taps on the glass and gets a reluctant Meredith to let her in.  “It’s got to be you.  Nobody else gives orders like that,” Meredith says.  Heh.

~*Elena*~ wants her hug her friend, but she’s still visibly freaked and, anyways, “wasn’t much of the hugging type.”  Who doesn’t like hugging?  Weirdo.  But hey, at least she’s clever enough to have figured it all out, although she wasn’t SURE until she saw ~*Elena*~, of course.  ~*Elena*~ hears the door, and it’s Bonnie, Meredith tells her.  ~*Elena*~ decides to “break it to her gently,” which for some reason means FREAKING BONNIE OUT BY BEING ALL “DON’T SCREAM” and turning off the lights–yeah, that’s “gently,” Meredith.

Bonnie, clueless as ever, sees ~*Elena*~ and squees.  ~*Elena*~ and Meredith have to, like, ease her into the idea.  ~*Elena*~ finally just says “Bonnie, did your psychic grandmother ever talk to you about vampires?”  HA.

Bonnie, despite being a psychic, is all “You guys are being freaky” and ~*Elena*~ has to show her teeth.  Meredith puns but isn’t reveling in her cleverness, so you know something’s REALLY wrong.  Bonnie can’t handle it; that mirror of ~*romance*~ in the supernatural isn’t showing rainbows and unicorns.  But Bonnie is also changeable as a…stereotype of a redhead, and she decides to accept ~*Elena*~ fully about two seconds later.  Then everyone hugs and cries–“Elena herself with passionate intensity.”  Ugh.

Bonnie’s so shocked, her brain has stopped working (…more?), and ~*Elena*~ recaps the whole first book for her: Stefan’s a vampire, Damon’s his brother, Katherine, etc.

“Sounds kinky” – Bonnie

“Sounds dumb” – Meredith

They’re both right.

Bonnie thinks the story is ~*romantic*~ of course, but ~*Elena*~’s like “Even I can’t buy into that crap,” and talks about how ~*tortured*~ both brothers are by what’s happened.  She wraps up the story of their human deaths, and thus ends a sort of annoying but I suppose necessary chapter of the book.

Next up: IDK, some stupid stuff, prol.

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