Skip to content

The Vampire Diaries: The Fury, Part 7: Can’t I get two good chapters in a row?

May 15, 2010

Please?

When last we left Our Now-Vampire Heroine, she was, um, outing her honey and her stalker/other honey/misunderstood whateverwhocares to her somewhat interchangeable friends as vampires who couldn’t comport themselves well they were human and have continued to play out a bratty sibling rivalry for centuries.  Sound hot?  God no!

Now it’s time to check in with what’s been going on in human-land.  Meredith says that Aunt Judith and Matt are acting weird, and ~*Elena*~ purposely decides to ignore the whole munching-on-her-ex thing, cuz it’s just, like, wayyy too icky.  But everyone’s freaked and ~*Elena*~’s death is turning everything upside down and guess what, big shocker, Alaric is a spy.  Unless you ask Bonnie, who’s an idiot.

Tyler and his friends were bitten, but Caroline was not (but is Vickie Bennett-level out of it), and Tyler’s dad was trying to be all “That new European kid!  He did it!” but Meredith and Bonnie saw Stefan right before, so as long as everyone’s looking for a human attacker, everything’s fine there.  Everyone wants to blame the dogs and rabies.  I’m surprised they didn’t say gangs on PCP, but that’s another, later, more clever story.

Bonnie still wants Damon to be the dark, brooding hero (that smooched her), but ~*Elena*~ says no, he killed Tanner.  Bonnie whines that ~*Elena*~ gets all the guys, and Meredith’s clever response to that is, “LIFE isn’t fair.”  OH OKAY.  That really helps put things in perspective, Meredith, and it really goes toward breaking down stereotypes of thin blonde girls always getting the guys.

Also, don’t Meredith and Bonnie have boyfriend-y guys in their lives?  Ray and…um…the other one?  Token Latino?

~*Elena*~ and Meredith come up with the brilliant plan to create a suspect list.  It works so well for Nancy Drew, after all.  The first person that comes up as a viable suspect is Robert, Aunt Judith’s maybe-ex fiance.  He moved away from the dogs  before anyone and was pissed at Judith for unreasonably breaking their engagement.  Alaric and the mysterious bordering-house owner Mrs. Flowers also make the list.

~*Elena*~ takes a break from all this super-hard detective work to start looking at Bonnie as if she were food.  Bonnie freaks, because OMG VAMPIRES DRINK BLOOD WITHOUT EVEN KILLING THEIR PREY, UNLIKE BONNIE AT THE GROCERY STORE, and ~*Elena*~ gets pissy at her, then sends a ~*psychic message*~ (or “burst of Power” or whatever) to whichever of her two suitors is closest, and ends up with Damon.  Don’t worry, Stefan’s stalking nearby; he couldn’t bear his pseudo-fiancee to even speak to another guy who might capture her interest.

~*Elena*~ and Stefan are all cozy and Damon’s cranky about it and starts in on their “vegetarian” ways.  Then he leaves in a huff, and that…concludes the chapter, actually.

So, really, not much happens, and what does happen is godawful boring and recappy.  I’m practically recapping a recap here, people.  I haven’t even hit 500 on the word count.

Next up: Oh good, what we needed was another diary entry.  To remind us that the series is called The Vampire Diaries.

Advertisements
No comments yet

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: