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WiB 2010 Fall Edition: Week 10

November 13, 2010

The leaves are GORGEOUS here.  They make up for any bad books I’ve read this week.  Okay, BOTH bad books (stories) I read this week.

In my defense, they were for my book club.  We’re doing “awful books,” and what sounds more awful than free erotica about sex clubs and robots?  Yeah, you heard me: robots.  How could I resist?  Note: Not safe for work…or life.

We ended up having a lulz-fest over “Naughty Nooners: Her Very Special Robot,” a free ebook on Amazon.com.  I figured it would be nice to use my Kindle a bit more, and also I heard the story was really short and really bad, so I downloaded it.  Wow.  There’s no pretense of it making sense or anything.  The, uh, lead female is already raring to jump on the lead male at the start of the story so him dressing up as a robot doesn’t really resolve any conflict so much as give the author time to delve into her obvious love of piercings.

Because robots do that, I guess.

The level of repetition in this incredibly short story is appalling.  Once we’re given a lengthy description of the process/view of Trace as a robot, we get the same thing over again from whatsherface’s perfect.  How can a stunt man dressing as a robot in order to seduce his dead best friend’s widow be so BORING?

Also, I’m a sex-scene skimmer since way back, so the fact that this story delves straight for “OMG IT HAD BEEN A YEAR; SHE WAS SO HORNY” put me off entirely.  Look, people keep lecturing me about “It’s EROTICA, girl, what were you expecting?” but I guess I was expecting something a little more romantic (it ends in a wedding, for God’s sake–hope that wasn’t too much of a spoiler for you) and a little less tacky.

So because we had so much fun making fun of it, I tried another Naughty Nooner, as surely that this one couldn’t be worse than the last.  Thankfully, it wasn’t.  “Not Just an Orgy,” possibly the greatest title since “Her Very Special Robot,” actually does what I expected the first story to do: use the set-up to create minor conflict in the midst of a lot of sex.  This pseudo-journalist is trying to get a story on a club where apparently there’s this members-only room, and has spent months positioning herself (dirty) to get in by cozying up to the owner.  In the meantime, she’s fallen for his rather considerable charms, so when she gets back to this sin palace, she finds herself wrapped up in her own lust for him and finds that she’s willing to go past her usual boundaries–story be damned.  And that’s kinda cool, actually.  There’s a moment after her climax where her body, no longer flooded with chemicals, gives her a “FLEE!  SHAME!”-type message, which is, you know, sensible.

BUT THEN THE STORY TAKE A LEFT TURN.  AND BY A “LEFT TURN,” I MEAN “THERE WAS A CLIFF AND WHO KNEW AND NOW EVERYTHING IS WRECKED AND IN FLAMES.”  Some might call it a “twist.”  I call it “….Bwuh??”

You have to read it (or the spoiler-filled reviews on Amazon) to believe it.

To make up for this erotic train wreck, I also read the 4th and 5th Vampire Files books, Art in the Blood and Fire in the Blood.  The fourth book has the more interesting mystery, but the fifth book is where Elrod delves into Jack’s increasing limitations with his seemingly-unlimited new powers.  I found it a good way to put a damper on Jack’s ability to get out of anything with one of two tricks (hypnosis and turning into mist), while revealing a lot of his character and putting it into serious conflict.  Good times.  Unfortunately, this is where my gap is in my collection.  I don’t have the sixth book, so I’ll have to wait to continue the series until I get Christmas money or something.  Not too long.

So that was my week in books.  How was yours?

Next week: Need to pick up the pace a little, with both the reading and the NaNo, as I like to hit 300 books a year and I’d like to win NaNo this year.  So…some Jane Feather off the to-read case, a few library books, including some nostalgia, and maybe I can get to my goal without overdoing it.

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