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Inaction Librarian?

August 11, 2011

My last day at my library is the 2nd of September.  Unfortunately, my position is a civil service position, and there’s a test–well, at my level, a review of my resume–and I’m not in the top three, which means the library HAS to replace me with one of those three people.  I’m sad, the kids are sad, their parents are sad, my co-workers are sad.

But that’s not the important part.  The important part is that I realized so many things about myself and about life.  Oh, I know that sounds cheesy, but that’s just because we don’t have the right words to describe it all, I think.  Life-wise, I’ve learned that adulthood is both learned and earned.  When I first wrote up a monthly report here, I felt SO GROWN-UP.  Now I’m like “Ugh, almost forgot to send my boss my monthly report.”  I’ve been the person in charge one night a week because I run the shift, and the person in charge for a week because my boss was on vacation and our teen librarian never did come back.  (Her replacement starts toward the end of the month, which should give me enough time to help her out and give her information that will help my replacement.)  Being in charge has boosted my ego and done so much for my sense of responsibility.  Being a parent made me grow up in so many ways, as did going back to school.  Having a full-time job–no, a CAREER–and having myriad responsibilities added another dimension to that.  I feel a sense of completion, a sense of adulthood, I’ve never had before.

I always thought I would be a teen librarian, and yet I feel I’ve thrived as a children’s librarian.  Kids are cute!  And I’ve always liked them, and I’ve always liked giving them back at the end of the day, or at the end of an hour.  I have cuddlebunnies and shyguys.  I have ones that have learned to sit still, to talk, to walk, in the time I’ve been here.  It’s been amazing.  I’ve realized what an incredibly DIFFERENT type of job it is compared to teen librarian, and though I’m still probably more informed on teen reads than kid ones, that’s just my reading preference.  I’ve read every children’s book that’s been ordered here in at least the past seven months.  I’ve read clunkers and stinkers and books that made me cry or catch my breath in awe.  It’s been quite the reading experience, I have to say.

I’ve always said that working with children is a calling.  I wasn’t called to it specifically but, once there, I found my place, and yes, now I WOULD say it’s my calling.  Or part of it.

I’m going to miss everyone terribly, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I’ll be able to apply for and get the next children’s librarian position that opens in the system.  When you love your job, as it’s been said, it never feels like work.

On the other hand, I’ll have so much more time to write recaps while I’m on unemployment.  Heh.

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