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The Vampire Diaries: Dark Reunion, Part 11: A Return to Form

November 11, 2011

When last we left Our Bullies, they were attacking one of the minor bad guys like bad guys themselves, unaware that even if they were bluffing, they still came off as assholes.  Having divulged at least a tiny bit of the information they were looking for, Tyler is left tied up at a cemetery while the pseudo-heroes go to determine the fate of the poor girl who’s been the most damaged by this whole scenario.

In a way, I’m kind of glad Vickie’s gone.  Sure, she was brutally murdered, but at least she can’t be tortured anymore.  Her pain is over–pain, I should add, that was inflicted because she was a little trashy, and may have had sex.  Because she’s not bffs with the leads, she becomes expendable.  Not an angel, like unblemished Sue, but a pathetic girl who becomes even more pathetic because we’re told over and over again that we shouldn’t care about her, except to feel sorry for her.  She’s not blonde, by the way, if you’ve forgotten.  (Page 261 in the double-book reissue: Vickie’s hair is light, but light brown.)  We never learn what she likes, besides boyyyyys in the beginning.  We never learn if she secretly reads romance novels, or Dickens.  We never learn her favorite color, even.  She’s a sacrifice, perhaps necessary for the plot, but unnecessarily dehumanized and discarded by the author for the crime of not being gorgeous, upper middle class, and a virgin.  Someone’s got to do it, I suppose.  At least Sue dies of a dignified broken neck.

Not our Vickie.  No, her room is covered in blood, and the further indignity is that this poor girl’s obvious murder is being ruled a suicide.  I’ve never seen how much blood I can spray around with a pair of scissors, a light-colored room, and some free time, but that is just insulting.  The big problem, of course, is the window.  It’s broken from the inside.  Must be suicide, and not an attacker who can’t get out through the front door.  Nah, never that.

Poor Vickie.  You’re the Margaret of the high school set.  Except, you know, impure.  Margaret makes it through the books.  Innocents always do.

But to get back to the details.  Everyone wants Bonnie to stay in the car, but her Scottish Sense is tingling, and it’s not in a good-tingle way either.  She and Meredith go straight for Vickie’s window; it looks open from afar, but it’s not the kind that opens so…yeah, glass everywhere.  On the outside.  Bonnie is upset and outraged at Vickie’s stupidity (yup, more damning of Vickie, who’s “easily influenced” by mind control and whatnot, being that she’s not one of the cool kids).  The girls move in for a closer look, Bonnie on her own insistence, since they’re still treating her like the fluffball she was in the first book.

I don’t know much about blood, but I gotta tell you I’m sick of hearing it described as “coppery.”  But there you go.  Her room looks like “some kid had gotten a bucket of red paint and gone crazy.”  Good job, Ms. Smith.  Love it.  Meredith pukes, which kind of surprises me, but since she keeps everything in, I guess it makes more sense than her crying.

The record player (ah, the past) is playing “Goodnight Sweetheart.”  Bonnie is pissed and unfortunately grabs the window, which bloodies her hand.  Meredith plays nursemaid, and Bonnie wants her to stop being the cool girl who keeps in all in.  But Meredith’s played that role too long.

Matt joins them, and lets them know it’s being treated as a suicide.  Now, the cops have convinced themselves that Vickie accidentally, hysterically killed Sue, so I guess if you want to follow that line of reasoning, you have something resembling a coherent idea.  But we all know better.  Except Bonnie, who wants to use the glass as an indicator of a break-in.  Meredith points out that the glass is broken in the wrong direction.

Meredith asks where Stefan is, and we all (them and us, the readers) find them arguing.  Stefan has gone back to his usual self-loathing-but-let’s-take-it-out-on-Damon-anyway self and is dressing his brother down for failing to protect Vickie.  Damon is, as always, more defensive than forthright, especially when Stefan says that the group said he couldn’t be trusted.  Poor Damon.  Here he is, acting like an asshole all the time but apparently, if you squint, on their side, and people aren’t trusting him.  The dear.

Stefan is beating himself up, and Damon says he couldn’t have taken on this ubervamp anyway.  Stefan’s like “WELL I COULD’VE DIED THAT WOULD’VE BEEN GREAT I COULD SAVE MYSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE FROM THIS WHINING.”

Kid needs a therapist.

Then, of course, he turns all his self-hatred on his brother, accusing him of chasing some girl instead of watching Vickie.  Or maybe just joining the killer.

Damon, rightfully, punches his snotty little brother.

Matt gets in the middle but Damon, IN CASE WE DIDN’T REMEMBER THAT HE’S SEMI-GOOD RIGHT NOW, stops himself before he can hurt the little human.  He follows that up with declaring himself out of this being treated like dog crap.  I don’t know whether I agree with him or not.  He has been a colossal dick for a very long time.

Stefan is like “Good riddance to bad Eurorubbish.”

Damon gets some parting shot about who he really is, or whatever.  It doesn’t make a lot of sense in context, especially with his good-ish actions.  IDK.  It’s supposed to muddy the water, I guess, but it would’ve been better the way it was before, without Damon insisting he’s bad, he’s oh so bad.

I do like that Bonnie recognizes that they trusted Damon “because it was easy and because they needed the help.”  Too bad they couldn’t treat him like a person.  They have problems with that.  Their white hats are soooo gray.  She also recognizes that Stefan’s lashing out is just a deflection of his own guilt and shame.  She wonders if Damon picks up on that, but does it matter?  If your friend (or sibling) treats you poorly because they’re feeling poorly, is that honesty or douchbaggery?  As an adult human being (and, really, a married lady, because a huge part of my marriage is consideration, more so than with any other relationship I have or have had), I’m going with the second.

Bonnie suddenly remembers Tyler, and they rush back to find a severe lack of Tyler back at the church.  He either hopped his way to safety or else was taken by the ubervamp, no definitive signs either way.

In short, they were losers.  They’d failed at everything: taking care of Vickie, dealing with Tyler, even dealing with each other, if you count Damon.  Stefan was a mess, and gosh, he looked so pale, even for a vamp…

Bonnie makes a quick decision about their team leader’s dietary needs and sends everyone else away.  Matt’s like “Grrr, but I need to default to one of the secondary leads, and Meredith’s taken,” but he leaves her to the difficult task of trying to get a whiner to believe her when she says something reasonable.

She offers her blood, and he of course turns her down, because he’s soooo freakin’ noble, and exchanging blood is like sex, and she doesn’t look anything like one of his exes, so he isn’t interested.

Bonnie thinks to herself that Stefan will never, ever get over She Who I Am Sick of Discussing, and that’s the thing right there.  Four hundred years, and he’s only loved two women, who look EXACTLY alike.  Does anyone else, especially anyone who’s no longer in high school, think that makes any sense?  Were the 1400s as strict about “love” and abstinence as modern-day born-again Christians or something?

ALSO, IT’S FOOD, NOT SEX.

“Without Elena he would always be half himself, only half alive.”

FUCK YOUUUUUUU for perpetuating the idea that people can’t have successful lives if the person they want to have sex with or has had sex with dies.

But Bonnie is nothing else if she’s not a dim teenager so, in her INFINITE stupidity, she offers to connect Stefan with The Other Side to see his recently-lost love.  EVEN THOUGH EVERY TIME SHE DOES THAT, SHE’S ENDED UP CONNECTED TO THE PSYCHIC VAMPIRE WHO JUST MUTILATED HER SCHOOLMATE.

Oh no, but it’s for LOVE, so it’s okay.

Jeebus.

She connects to ~*Elena*~ and it’s so far nowhere near as cool as the messed-up mouse dreams.  She’s in a funeral home.  Is that where she sees ~*Elena*~ or ~*Elena*~ sees herself?  She’s not in her coffin, but outside it, looking, of course, like an angel.  La la light imagery, and then she’s sooo weepy and upset about the idea of the connection being corrupted BECAUSE STEFAN MIGHT SEE HER TEETH FALL OUT.

Now THAT’s love, ladies and gentlemen.

Stefan is having NONE of this, so when Bonnie goes to give him the message that his collect call to the beyond has been denied, he, uh, invades her psyche or mind or whatever, and forces himself into this trance/place.  Bonnie basically shrugs and moves out of the one, never one to interrupt a good schmaltzy love scene.

Next up: Said schmaltzy love scene, I ASSUME.

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