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The Vampire Diaries: Dark Reunion, Part 13: I Have No Sympathy for Anyone, Ever

January 2, 2012

I have PMS.

I think my roommate is hiding in her room.

When last we left Those Idiots, they were all like “Stefan, you can’t leave us here all by ourselves!  All we are are pathetic human beings who can’t do anything on our own and only recently received separate personality traits!”  We begin this chapter with a diary post by Bonnie, letting us know that Stefan is leaving soon, Tyler’s gone, finals are AFTER graduation, which MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE (how do you know who doesn’t get to walk?), and how Klaus is so mean, you guys, and he doesn’t even have an accent…and…wait a second there!

Bonnie decides that Klaus was purposely attacking them on Meredith’s birthday, and calls Meredith to tell her–in code, cuz her dad is on the line–that, guess what, Klaus was probably the one who attacked Meredith’s grandfather.

Good job, Bonnie.

Scene change, going to see Meredith’s grandfather the next day.  Stefan declares himself an idiot–I’m glad we’re on the same page.  Matt says all of them are idiots–*cough*–except Bonnie, who loves it.  Meredith points out that only Bonnie had all the info, and everyone’s all buddy-buddy and bantering.

The institution is, like, something out of a movie, and Meredith’s got her dander up over it because her parents passed on a legacy of shame to her.  Bonnie is proud of Meredith for sucking it up; the place is just cold and filled with nutters.  Bonnie and Matt grasp hands, not realizing that they, too, will grow old one day.  (And Matt will go bald.  Just sayin’.)

Neither Meredith nor Stefan nor Bonnie can get through to the grandfather, so they turn to go.  He then lets out a well-timed scream and everyone rushes back in.  They’re immediately kicked out, of course, but not before they hear him yell out the name of the wood that can hurt Klaus: white ash.

Really, when you’re feeding off someone–which has been a pretty sexual thing in this series so far–are you really thinking about your One Weakness, or are you more like “om nom nom nom nom nom,” you know?  Too convenient.  But whatever.

When they discuss it afterward, Stefan says they have to find where he is but not rush.  Bonnie feels like it’s close, a definite rush, especially since it’s “the eve of the solstice.”  (Bonnie’s been doing her homework, guys.)  Even though she JUST thinks that everything’s going down, the book still says that no one realized how quick everything was going to happen.  Hell, it had better happen in the next scene, with that kind of logic.

Back at the bordering house, Mrs. Flowers shows them where to find the right kind of tree.  She also says that Stefan got a package.  She doesn’t say it’s an evil package, but we all know it is, especially when Klaus’s handwriting is found to be on it.  I must not have read this far in the chapter because this is all new to me.  It’s pretty but got some Klausgrime on it, and it turns out to have…blank stationery.  Well, that was a letdown.

But wait!  Letters appear!  Oh wait, I HAVE read this.  Stefan is told to come alone to save “the girl.”  They all go “bwuh?” to try to figure out who “the girl” is–and then find that Caroline’s scarf is in the package.  Caroline, who supposedly went away.  Not far enough.

They all agree that it’s a trap, and Stefan does his wannabe-manly “I’m going alone” thing.  Bonnie flips out on him, and Stefan points out that he IS a vampire with super-strength, thankyouverymuch, he’ll make his own poor decisions.  Then, of course, when pushed, he goes back into whine-face mode and says it’s allll his fauuuult because omggggg KATHERINE and KLAUS would’ve never been bffs if he’d bonked her for eternity like he was supposed to and la la SHUT UP.  Bonnie thinks that too, bless her, and points out that Klaus surely isn’t going to keep his word.  Meredith reasonably offers her blood to Stefan to get him ready for the big trap.  Matt too.  Stefan rejects them, because he only wants to drink from hot blondes, and Matt doesn’t count.  Everyone keeps trying to talk him into it, and he does what any whiny Eurojackass does when bothered–pretends to hate them all so they’ll leave him alone, and walks out in a huff.

No, seriously, that’s the end of the chapter.

Next up: Everyone laughs at him.  I hope.

THREE MORE CHAPTERS TO GO.

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