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The Vampire Diaries: Dark Reunion, Part 14: The end is nigh

February 23, 2012

So, I’ve just been sitting here watching Shakespeare Retold, and loving it.  Actually, this is my third go-’round with the DVDs and I’m only now watching Much Ado About Nothing, in part because I’ve actually never read the play and of course in part because I can never get a DVD watched before it’s due and even though as staff I don’t get charged fines, I get the OMG IT’S ON HOLD guilties and must return things ASAP—“P” often being when I realize I’m not going to have any time.  I did go see Much Ado the other month performed by some incredibly talented actors at Stockton (and if the dude playing Benedick isn’t famous in a few years, I’ll eat my hat; he was awesome), so I was especially looking forward to watching it now.  I mean, it’s got Billie Piper and everything.  Russell T. Davies has trained me well.  I cried when Billie Piper cried, I cried when Billie Piper beamed, and I cried like a baby when Hero falls and hits her head because OMG YOU CAN’T HURT BILLIE PIPER, SHE IS ROSE TYLER.

Damn you, Davies.

I’m hoping this good mood I’m in will make me more inclined to make it through this chapter with little complaint.  Not none, because that’s impossible, but little.

When last we left Stefan, he was stomping away in a faked hissy only Matt couldn’t suss out.  The girls start the chapter explaining to Matt that Stefan is faking it to take all the blame–I mean, go fight Klaus himself.  Meredith thinks it’s because Stefan believes he and his fiancee (for lack of a more realistic term–who was going to marry them, really?  If you’re whammying the clergy, it doesn’t count, mmkay?) will be reunited in the afterlife.  Bonnie says, hail no, The Perfect Blonde One died too, too soon–capital-L Life not wanting to give up its hold on blondes–and Stefan’s way past his expiration date.  I could’ve told you that.

Matt’s all “Stefan must be saved!–I don’t suppose I could fool YOU guys into thinking the men should go alone.”  The girls laugh at him and off they go to fight the Big Bad.

Mrs. Flowers is, of course, missing, in probably a very reasonable way, and the gang takes one of her carving knives.  I hope they left a note.  Otherwise, she’ll either be very confused or…um, know exactly what’s going on.  Because she’s ~*mysterious*~.

Matt figures out which farmhouse Klaus is skulking around in/by and figures they can maybe grab Caroline at some point, maybe before the fracas begins.  Matt starts, um, quarterbacking the plays (whatever) and even makes them crawl across the ground to hide better.  Bonnie is unthrilled, because there are creepy-crawlies on the ground, but since Klaus is the creepiest of all, she gets down and dirty, thinking about how COMPETENT she is.  When a second ago she was all “Ohhh, Matt, you’re such a THINKER, being a quarterback and all.”  Sigh.

Caroline is tied and gagged–probably how everyone would prefer it anyway, and even Bonnie, who has been and has watched her friends be treated like dogcrap by this girl, is willing to let bygones be bygones.  Except “…Caroline had wanted Stefan in the beginning, and had hated and tried to humiliate Elena for getting him.  Stefan Salvatore was the last person who should feel kindly toward Caroline Forbes.”  STEFAN?  Do you mean the last person ALIVE, because that’s inaccurate too.

Anyway, it’s night by now and the vamps come out to fight.  Stefan says Klaus should let Caroline go, and Klaus is like “AHAHAHAHAHA–no.”  Can no evil person be, like, lawful evil or something?  Do they all have to be crazy and chaotic?

Caroline motions as best she can to alert Stefan about a threat from above, but he’s clueless so Bonnie has to yell at him, giving away the humans’ position.  Tyler jumps down and Klaus, pissed that his little diversion wasn’t quite the surprise, THROWS LIGHTNING AT BONNIE.


Meredith goes after Caroline, Matt goes after Tyler, and Klaus goes after Stefan–leaving Bonnie to chronicle everything, basically.  It IS pretty funny though: “Matt was pummeling Tyler in a way that certainly would have gotten him disqualified on the football field.”

This turns around quickly though, and Matt gets ka-thunked into a tree, if ka-thunk were a bit squishier.  Ew.  Poor Matt.  Tyler’s now after Bonnie, giving her something to do, except that her Powers so far have been pretty worthless in combat, so she decides to try to reason with his humanity.  Considering he didn’t have any to begin with, even before the transformation, it takes an intercession by Meredith to get this fight back  on track.  Meredith has silver, and silver is bad for werewoofs.  Bonnie has a stick.

Fortunately, it’s more impressive than it sounds and, between the two of them (and Bonnie’s stick), they knock that bastard out–but not before Meredith gets herself bit.  Ew, it sounds pretty gross, with bone showing and all.  Bonnie’s flipping, like the flighty one she sometimes is, and Caroline has to help out with her tyin’ rope to create a tourniquet.  Bonnie then decides she’s got to get back into the fight, and leaves Caroline in charge of the wounded.

She watches Stefan and Klaus fighting, and Stefan seems to be doing a good job, except it appears that Klaus is just playing with him.  Uh-ohs, folks.    Klaus starts jabbing Stefan with wood (um) and Bonnie does nothing as Stefan screams and screams.  Bonnie realizes that she’s a “baby after all,” and THANK GOD, for the second time ever (the first being before I realized what a bratty child he was), I’m pleased to see Damon, who throws a goddamn spear into that jerk.

And of course, Damon’s gotta have an entrance line: “Get away from my brother.”  What, not even a “the hell”?  You know, like Buffy’s mom?  Ah well, too soon.  I miss Joyce and Spike.  They were so cute together, like Spike and any grown-up, really.

Thus endeth the chapter.

Next up: Klaus most likely gets beat down–duh–and if I remember correctly, I close the book (maybe forever) feeling cheated.

-Posted on my dinner break at work.  Yay, work wifi.

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