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Always behind (NaBlo: Day 7)

November 7, 2013

We’re not even going to discuss NaNo.

What I’m talking about is the Goodreads Awards.  I voted in even LESS categories than last year, even with all my BEA books.

Of those categories, I’m not making as informed a decision as last year, because I’ve only read one or two selections, but I voted for them if I thought they were outstanding.  YA is the only one I knew several, and I stand by my decision.

I realize that, being home, I had more time to watch TV shows, and so I did that, and I unpacked a lot and I’m trying to have a social life and I was blah blah blah homeschooling and blah blah blah etc

AND I only challenge myself to read 20 new books a year

AND I’ve been trying to focus on the books I have here that are unread

but JEEZ I put a lot of pressure on myself.  People say “How do you have time to read as much as you do?” and I said “I prioritize reading,” but that hasn’t been true for a while now.  In part, I’ve been prioritizing television shows because they’re interesting narratives and Netflix makes it pretty easy AND I can exercise on the Wii Fit while watching.  But I’ve also been less interested in looking for new authors because I find so many authors problematic in the genres I usually read, and because editors seem to have gone the wayside since the recession.

I’ve been going more off of recommendations than anything else lately, from friends I trust.  I avoid Literary Fiction because it’s navel-gazingly obnoxious and filled with First World Problems.  (That’s not a term I use often, because I feel like it’s flung at people to make them feel guilty over being upset over things that upset them, but come on now.)  I avoid Romance because it perpetuates gender roles.  I avoid DC because they’re assholes.  I avoid manga because the trends are toward magic right now and I’m not interested.

It’s not that I’m running out of books to read, it’s just that I’m running out of optimism, I think.

I’m sure it will get better when I learn to stop putting pressure on myself.

Can that just happen any day now?  Please?

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