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November means 2 things: Thanksgiving and failure

November 16, 2015

I sure did tank early on NaBlo this year. I’d done three or four posts in one day, and set them to publish 24 hours apart. Then I forgot what day it was and got bogged down in the last of our settlement paperwork, and then my husband and I bought a house and I stopped caring.

I do hate failing. I’m failing at NaNo too. I was doing great the first few days–ahead of schedule by about three thousand words, and then I realized I was writing to write and not taking any joy from it. The story had been told already in short form. Maybe I’d just picked the wrong thing. Maybe I needed to switch. I wrote another flash fiction (I like those) and began another…and then my brand-new laplet (tabtop?) needed to be reset to factory settings, and I saved my Scrivener file incorrectly. I lost about five thousand words.

I then spent the last week moving and dealing with having a cold/flu thing that’s been going around the town. I wrote a little last night and a few days ago, but nothing feels quite right. Everything feels like stress. How do people write? I wonder if you have to have no ego or too much ego, and I’m in that in-between place I can’t get out of.

Some repair guy is coming over and I have to be here until they’re done. How do you write during THAT?

Something something need a room of one’s own. I just gave mine up so we can bring in some extra cash. My library/office is going to be a guest room.

Sigh.

Repair guy is here. I can’t focus. Go figure.

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